The actual name of the band was “Nasty Savage & The Pits”, but we later shortened it to just “The Pits” because we’d found out there was some asshole putting out records as Nasty Savage. This band was literal a joke, and included Gary Ramsey, Danny Bridges and myself. It was ostensibly a punk band, and we each adopted fake names that represented our characters in this fictitious band. Gary was Nasty Savage. Danny was Dick Biggerstaff. And my character’s name was Ultimate Jones.
There wasn’t much to this band. We only performed together once, in the RMS practice building uptown in Kings Mountain, North Carolina, while we were tripping on acid. Believe it or not, it went well. Amazingly so. It was magickal. I have the tapes that prove it. My old friend, Kevin Galloway, was the only other person present besides us, so the resulting tape was labeled “Concert For One” in his honor. It’s from this night that the quote in my music section comes from. I played bass on most of the songs, but was sitting behind the drum kit at one point after playing drums for the first time in my life. I’d worn myself out. I started shouting “Nasty! Nasty! I’ve got no beer! How can I play?” in a thick British accent.
Nasty Savage & The Pits disbanded after this fateful show. What else could we do? How do you follow a triumphant gig like that? Sure, only Kevin Galloway saw it, but he declared it an unparalleled performance. Gary continued to write funny songs for the Nasty Savage character. Danny later took to wearing a cheesy black wig and demanding that people “call me Dick”. Ultimate Jones was never heard from again, but I have thought about putting out a CD of my bass-centered songs and calling it The Return of Ultimate Jones.
Well, here’s to that one triumphant night.
- Dick Biggerstaff (Danny Bridges) – drums, bass
- Ultimate Jones (Wicasta Lovelace) – bass, drums, vocals
- Nasty Savage (Gary Ramsey) – guitar, vocals