Brains In Baggies

I’m on I-75 in Florida near Sumterville, Florida, stuck in my second traffic jam since leaving Saint Petersburg. I’ve gone 71 miles. I imagine some idiot did something unbelievably stupid and I’m going to have to sit here parked on the Interstate while we wait for someone to come and scoop his or her brains up into a baggie. I have to say, eight years of truck driving taught me that most of the people driving on our nation’s roads cannon fodder who shouldn’t be allowed to breed, much less drive.
But there’s something exceptional about this stretch of I-75 south of Ocala. It’s an idiot magnet or something, because there’s almost always an accident through here whenever I’m going up to North Carolina. Maybe the Dumbass Holy Shrine is near here or something. They certainly seem to flock here to throw themselves upon the altar.
I’m sorry if I sound unsympathetic. It’s only because I am. If I was near the wreck or the first upon the scene, I’d be doing everything I could to help in any way I could. But five miles back in a traffic jam, I’m just another pissed off motorist who has a long drive ahead of me and is watching the day slip away. I’m also getting irritated by this woman in the car in front of me who keeps trying to make eye contact.
Final rant: Come on, people. Hangup the cellphones and driving your damned cars. It would solve a lot problems. Trust me. Moving vehicles and stupidity do not mix.