I’m sitting in front of my computer about half past midnight. I came in here to turn off the computer, and found myself drawn to the idea of posting something. Didn’t matter what, really. I’ve come to look at this web site with an odd mixture of nostalgia and impatience. Sometimes I can’t remember why I put it here in the first place. Well, that’s not entirely true. Once upon a time I was going to make music, release albums, and write books. I was going to indulge my artist side and create some new, cool images. Hell, I was going to sell merchandise based on all the cool stuff I was creating.
Yeah, well. Here we are.
I looked for the right image to accompany this post. Between us, I probably spent more time trying to find the right image than I’ll spend writing the post. In the end, though, I found the perfect image for where my head is at right now.
The main reason I’m writing is because this is going to be a pivotal week for me. This week concludes my first semester of college. I have a math final on Tuesday, and my final essay for Composition I is due Thursday night. After that, there’ll be a break next week, and then the summer semester starts on the 16th. So… moving right along.
I also start new job on the 9th. That’ll be interesting. I won’t go into details, but it’s for a government agency. No, nothing as cool as the CIA. Think “county”. I’m hopeful. We’ve been in a bad place for a long time. I feel like a shipwreck survivor who’s treading water and watching a rescue helicopter overhead. I’m just there, with my nose just above water, hoping the sharks won’t get me before they swing down a rope. The Universe loves to do shite like that, you know; jerk the salvation away at the last second.
We’ll see. I have no reason to expect this to go sideways. I’m reasonably well-behaved. As thoroughly as they sifted through my background and questioned my references, if they didn’t find anything to give them concern already, I don’t why it would possibly go bad now. Of course, one can’t help wonder what one might have posted years ago after drinking too much whiskey. Not that there’s anything to find (that I know of). But paranoia is our friend sometimes.
Anyway, things are looking up for us. This will probably be a long, hard haul, between a full time job and college. But I’m ready for it. We need the momentum. We need to get off of this dark, tortured path we’ve been on for the last however many years. I think it’s all beginning to turn around. I’ll only truly believe it when I see it, naturally. But there’s reason for hope.
Somewhere amongst all this stuff I hope to get some creative things going, too. Just prior to this I was looking at web site themes, and thinking of how I’m going to change this web site over the next couple of months. I’m going to strip a lot of shite out. Make it lean and mean. We’re going to move ahead with some plans we’ve mostly only talked about. I won’t bore you with empty promises. They’ll either happen or they won’t. Who knows?
I suppose I feel kind of like that astronaut in the image, kicking back on the moon and pondering all the stupid shite down there on Earth. I know where I came from. I know where I’ve been. I’ve talked shit for twenty years about “getting it done”. That’s not what this is. There’s no statement of intent. No resolutions. I no longer give a damn. I’ll finish up those exams this week. I’ll start putting together the video for Mama’s cookbook project. On the 9th I’ll start my new job. On the 16th I’ll started the summer semester at SPC. Beyond that? I don’t know.
This is probably just a way-point. If I’m as busy as I expect to be from here on out, conceits like this web site won’t matter much. Nobody visits it but me, really. That’s fine. It’s for me, after all. Mostly I just wanted to drop a little note here. Something I can look back on later, and hopefully say, “That’s when it all began to change.”
Here’s to new adventures.
And on we go.