I’m sitting here in the den with Victoria, taking a few moments to write something by hand before we start going over music. This is part of a new approach for me. Something that I hope will force me to focus upon the things that need to be done rather than be distracted by pointless diversions like Facebook and MySpace.
I didn’t plan this. As much as I’d like to claim a revelation and a certain resolve, the reality is that I had no choice. Last week the main hard drive on my recording computer (which I also used for e-mail and Internet) bit the dust. I scrambled for a few days to get things worked out, switching over to another drive and re-installing all of the important programs. Which is sort of the point. This forced me to re-evaluate what needed to be on that computer, versus what I could live without. I decided to strip it back down to a recording computer, with no Internet capabilities whatsoever, with no need for the drain of anti-virus and firewall programs.
This has left me scratching my head about how to get my e-mail and do my Internet stuff. I put an e-mail client on our laptop and figure on using my Yahoo! account so I can get at least one of my e-mail accounts from any computer. However I may be making it sound, this is a good thing. I’ve spent far too much of my time checking e-mail and Facebook. It’s so easy to set aside fifteen minutes to catch up on a few things and then not surface for two or three hours. That needed to stop. Now it has.
I’m looking forward to having a few layers of separation between me and all those people in e-mail, on Facebook and MySpace, who eat away so much of my days. There have been times when I wished I could wall myself off from the world and just write and make music. In some small way, this is a step in that direction. Anything that I write will be written by hand. That alone will provide a layer of separation between my anger and frustration at the comments of others and help me mend some damaged relationships, by making it less likely that I’ll toss off some hasty remark that I’ll later regret. I figure it’ll also limit the influence of people who basically couldn’t give a fuck about me as a person, but have no problem with challenging my ideas and opinions (which must be responded to).
Those people who genuinely care for me will find ways to stay in touch. At the end of the day, they’re the only people who really matter anyway. I’m going to spend more time concentrating on the handful of people in my life who will miss me when I’m gone. They’re the ones who deserve my regard and affection.
In the days to come, when I have to be more frugal and productive with my Internet time, I’ll try to stay away from the bullshit. Hopefully the only time I’ll be on the Internet is when I’m posting stuff about the music and writing that I’ve finally accomplished in my welcomed exile. Maybe now I’ll finally stop talking so much about the stuff I’m planning to do and just get on with it. Honestly, time is running out.