A Hard Crash & A Renewed Determination

I headed into 2011 with a fairly positive attitude. Throughout the last few weeks of 2010, I found myself full of hope and maybe even a sense of purpose, and I couldn’t wait to get started on this new year. Well, I made it a few days into the new year with this attitude intact. But apparently it was a false bravado. I won’t go into details about what upended me. All I really wanted to mention was that I had a hard crash this morning. I wound up on the couch under a blanket, trying to wriggle into the dark creases where I might slip away on the shadows. But, as it usually goes, I came out the other side, the world was still there, and I was beginning to feel like I could breathe again.

I’m no fool. We have a hard road ahead of us. Some of the things that are likely to fall upon us in the next couple of months are simply unspeakable. But I refuse to be dragged down by the ghosts of the past, or be reminded of the things I didn’t do when I should have. Yesterday is gone. All we have is today and tomorrow. That’s where I’m going to focus my energies. I have to. In a lot of very real ways, that’s all I’ve got.

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