1) Favorite object in your room?
An Alembic Spoiler bass guitar.
2) Have you ever smoked heroin?
Nope. And I don’t care if you have pictures. Who’re you going to believe? Me, or your lying eyes?
3) Do you own guns?
I have a water pistol that I terrorize the cats with.
4) What flavor do you add to your drink at sonic?
What’s a sonic?
5) Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
Nope. I mostly get annoyed because I’m usually waiting well past my appointment to go in and pay someone a lot of money to tell me there’s really nothing wrong with me.
6) What do you think of hot dogs?
Good weapons. You can confuse your enemy by flinging hot dogs at them. They’ll never see that coming.
Okay, okay. I like hot dogs. I think it’s funny that the same people who cringe at hot dogs and “whatever they put in them” are the same people who eat squid at fancy restaurants.
7) Favorite song?
That changes weekly. But the only song that WILL NOT be turned off if it comes on the radio is Kashmir by Led Zeppelin.
8) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
9) Can you do push ups?
Yeah. I did two the other day. Been having trouble with my shoulder ever since.
10) Can you do a chin up?
I haven’t found a bar that I can’t tear down by trying to do a chin-up. Find me a sturdy bar and we’ll find out if I can do a chin-up.
11) What’s your favorite piece of jewelry?
A pentacle necklace that I got at the Ren Faire in Charlotte, NC, in 1997.
12) Do you like blue cheese?
Blue cheese is an experiment gone horribly awry.
13) Ever been in a car wreck?
Yes. A couple, actually. None were my fault. Really.
15) What’s one trait that you hate about yourself?
I hate myself for hating myself. Actually, I’m a terrible procrastinator.
16) Middle name?
I have two. Robert and Wicasta.
17) Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment.
I should be doing something productive instead of filling out these damned questions.
A corn beef hash sandwich is better without the mustard.
Why is there no rum?
18) Name 3 things you bought yesterday?
Hah! You have to have money to buy things. I could name three things I would have liked to have bought yesterday.
19) Name 3 drinks you drink regularly?
Dite-Rite cola, Diet A&W root beer, and water (if that counts as a drink).
20) Current worry?
Money, as always. As in, “why doesn’t someone call me back?” in my job hunt.
21) Current hate right now?
I hate haters. And Conservatives. Well, not really, but they’re sort of the same thing. I don’t really hate anybody, but I think we’d be better off if some people were executed.
23) How did you ring in the New Year?
You ask me that now? I think we watched a bunch of C-list musical artists cashing in their New Year’s bonus checks.
24) Where would you like to be right now?
On stage in a dark club, making music with friends.
26) Do you own slippers?
The closest thing I have to slippers are Gladiator looking sandals.
27) What shirt are you wearing?
I’m wearing a white t-shirt which says “I Know Jack Schitt”, and explains the Schitt family genealogy on the back.
28) Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
Nope. Satin sheets are for making love. And when you’re done, you take them off and put on the cotton sheets so you don’t wind up in the floor during the night.
29) Can you whistle?
Technically. But not very well.
31) Would you be a pirate?
Of course. I live in the Tampa Bay area in Florida. There are pirates and pirate wenches everywhere. And we have a pirate invasion every year.
32) What songs do you sing in the shower?
I don’t sing in the shower. Someone might hear. I hum a lot, though.
33) Favorite girl’s name?
Mistress? I don’t really have one. If I have to pick one, though, I’d say “Victoria”.
34) Favorite boy’s name?
Luther. I don’t know why.
35) What’s in your pockets right now?
Why don’t you reach in and find out?
36) Last thing that made you laugh?
A guy’s head bouncing down the steps in the movie Apocalyptico.
37) Best bed sheets as a child?
What do you mean? Do some children sleep without bed sheets? If you’re asking if I had Popeye sheets or something, I didn’t. At best, I sort of remember that I had some Carolina blue sheets at one point.
38) Worst injury you’ve ever had?
Smashed my left knee on a boulder once.
39) Do you love where you live?
Yup. I love living four miles from the gates to Hell and being in danger of bursting into flames at any moment. And what’s with the lizards? There are lizards everywhere doing push-ups. I don’t get it.
Actually, I love this area. Beautiful beaches are within a drive in any direction. Downtown Saint Petersburg is quirky and eclectic in ways that developers can’t plan. There’s a great music scene. To borrow someone else’s words, it’s a good-sized city with a small town feel.
40) How many TVs do you have in your house?
3. Although the 50″ plasma TV could probably count as two.
41) Who is your loudest friend?
42) How many dogs do you have?
I don’t have a dog, but my fiancée lets me claim her dog, Dali. So I have 1 loaner dog.
43) Does someone have a crush on you?
My fiancée claims to. But I think she sometimes considers that a mixed blessing.
45) What is your favorite movie?
Apocalypse Now, if I could only pick one. But The Lord of The Rings series ranks right up there.
46) What is your favorite sports team?
47) this is the non exsistent question….take this time to take a deep breath and be thankful for life
Okay. Done. Shall we hug now? And what’s up with your spelling?
48) Where is the next place you want to travel to?
49) What were you doing 12 AM last night?
Sitting on the couch waiting for the queasiness to pass.
50) What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
Oh, shit! I overslept again.
By the way, I noticed along the way that questions 14, 25 and 30 are missing. Shouldn’t we stop with all this pointless stuff and put together a search party?